오늘 볼 유투브 영상은 미국의 스탠드업 코미디입니다. 그 중에서 Mitch Hedberg라는 코미디언인데요, 일상 생활에서 해석을 웃기게 하는 것으로 유명하다고 하네요.
아래 스크립트를 보기 전에 먼저 영상부터 보죠~
최대한 알아들으려고 반복한 뒤에 스크립트를 보고 다시 들어보면 도움이 많이 됩니다!
[Mitchell Lee "Mitch" Hedberg (February 24, 1968 – March 29, 2005)]
All right. All right, if Bruce Springsteen did standup comedy, I wouldn’t be here.
Yeah, I got to write these jokes, so I sit at the hotel at night, I think of something that’s funny. Then I go get a pen, and I write it down. Or if the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain’t funny.
I don’t stay at the – I don’t stay at the bed and breakfast. And I don’t think I would, because I figure if you stay at a bed and breakfast, by the end of the day, you start to get hungry. Is that all you got around here? Then you need to direct me to a chair lunch dinner.
So I’m going to open up a chain of chair lunch dinners, and put them right across the street from the bed and breakfast. Say, come on over about one? But you have to leave at 11, because you ain’t sleeping in the chair.
You know when a company wants to use letters in their phone number to be catchy, but oftentimes they use too many letters? “Give us a call down here at 1-800-I-Really-Enjoy-Carpeting.” It’s too many letters, man. Must I dial them all? “Hello?” “Hold on, I’m only on ‘Enjoy’! How did you know I was calling? You’re good. I can see why they hired you!”
I drove by a company that sold manufactured homes, but these were repossessed manufactured homes. I would not want to be a manufactured home repo man. Those would be hard to sneak away. Knock, Knock, Knock. “Hi…could you go…cut your grass? Then look that way for half an hour?”
All right. Thank you, Thank you.
You know on TV, when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish, but they let it go. They don’t want to eat the fish; but they do want to make it late for something. “Where were you?” I got caught! “Liar, let me see the inside of your lip.”
Dogs are forever in the push-up position. That joke – that joke is dumb, I’m aware of that.
Advil has a candy coating. It’s delicious. Then it says, right on the bottle, ‘Do not have more than two.’ Well then do not put a candy coating around it, for I cannot help myself. Let me have ten Advils. I got a sweet tooth there; I think I screwed part of the joke up. I apologize about that.
Yeah, I saw this commercial on TV it said, “You can water your hard-to-reach plants with this product.” Now, who would make their plants hard-to-reach? That seem so very mean. “I know you need water, but I’m gonna make you hard to reach! I will throw water at you. Hopefully, they will invent a product before you shrivel and die!”
I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy. So shut up, I don’t understand! Share-The-We-Two… I don’t get it.
Anyway this product that was on TV said, “you can have this product for four easy payments for $19.95”. I would like to have a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We ain’t going to tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to be hard.
I find that duck’s opinion of me is very much influenced over whether or not I have bread. A duck loves bread, but he doesn’t have the capability to buy a loaf. That’s the biggest joke on the duck ever. Like if I worked at a convenience store, and a duck came in and grabbed a load of bread with his beak and walked out, I’d let him go. I’d say come back tomorrow, bring your friends. You can have the Pepperidge Farm bread. You know that, a Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy, man. It’s wrapped twice. You open it and it still ain’t open. That’ why I don’t buy it, I don’t need another step between me and toast.
